steveo4321
Member
So I have been in the hobby on and off since 2007 and it has been a journey for sure. I could write a whole separate post on that, but this post I want to focus on my experience with Sugar Babies (SB) and touch a bit on SBs vs escorts.
I first started dabbling in the SBs in 2020 right before COVID. Ironically after meeting an escort who told me, she used to do the SB thing and all about seeking.com . Here are my tips and lessons from this experience.
1) It’s all about location: I live in a small town near a major Big 10 college. The next closest city to me is about 2 hours drive away. This sucks for escorts as they are all at least a 2 hrs drive from me but for sugar dating this is a benefit. I am not super wealthy but do well for the area, I live in. The cost of living is generally low where I live. I am not competing with super rich dudes that one would find in NYC or DC. Because of that a lot of the girls don’t have the expectation of finding a multi-millionaire. The other benefit of the college is there is a constant rotation of new girls that come and go.
I can’t speak for what the experience is like if you live in a major city or middle of nowhere Texas. But for me I have had generally good luck finding girls that one would rate 6.5 to even a 10.
2) Know what you want and set expectations: Sugar dating is like a weird mix of seeing an escort and regular dating. I got into Sugar dating because I was curious of finding a girl that was more so out of my league, but I could spend time with doing things like dinner or Netflix and Chill. That shit is costly with an escort. I have found a SB to be more cost efficient. I can pay $500 to these girls and they will do an overnight and fuck you plenty. You can't get that through an escort.
But I have learned you have to manage expectations. Upon initial contact with these girls I explain I am looking for a mutually beneficial relationship and what I am willing to pay per meet. I then asked if they are comfortable with physical intimacy and/or what they like in the bedroom. If they seem awkward, hesitant, or say they don’t put out right away and want to go out on dates first I bail right there. Frankly if they come off as anything BUT DTF then I will not wast my time. Some of these girls are either time wasters or simply on seeking but still have no clue. I have wasted money before on a girl that was very nice but I simply think she was in over her head and never comfortable with the idea of fucking for money.
Also set the expectation that they will only get allowance for a meet and nothing else. Don't do gifts or book money or groceries. They will shit you up all the time. Set the expectation that shit won't happen. Even if they are fucking you.
3) Read their bios: This is an easy one and can give you some insight into what the girl is looking for. If they mention they are seeking something No Strings Attached and/or mutually beneficial then that is a good thing. If they say something like “if you just want sex I’m not your girl” or “I am not a prostitute” then I wouldn’t waste my time.
4) Have a message template: You're fishing and this is a numbers game. I don't have time to craft a nice special message for each girl I find on there. I have a basic template that I use for most girls. It generally says “Hey xxxxxx, love your pictures! You look absolutely stunning. [insert a short 1 or two sentences about something you like or notice from a picture or something in their bio]. My name is xxxxx and I am from the xxx area. I am looking for a no strings attached and beneficial relationship built on trust and intimacy. Would like to meet a couple times a month at $400 allowance each time we get together. If you’re interested feel free to text me at ###-###-####.”
You can also simply ask for their SnapChat and strike up the convo there. I would avoid being too direct on seeking's messaging platform as they are known to sometimes those kinds of messages. Basically take the conversation off seeking as soon as you can and discuss the more intimate details on some other platform.
5) Beware robots and scams: Just like any dating site there are scammers and bots. Things I generally look for when bothering to talk to a girl is how old is the account. Older accounts are more credible. Bots and scammers generally get reported and removed within a few weeks. So accounts older than a few weeks or months are likely more legit. If the person ask you to contact them on a WhatsApp number it’s 100% a scammer from overseas. Don’t bother.
6) ALWAYS ask for a verification photo: Within the first few exchanges of conversation I always ask for an UNFILTERED selfie of the individual holding up 3 fingers. Reason I ask for 3 fingers is because it’s not a common photo to have. A scammer can easily find a picture of a similar looking girl holding up 2 fingers as this is a common gesture in selfies. 3 fingers or a specific object are not something one can easily duplicate. I have never had anyone who is legit have a problem with this. If they refuse or stall then they are a scammer. I have had real girls send the 3 finger selfie…however they don’t always do the UNFILTERED part. Which leads too….
7) You will get catfished: Just like with regular dating, you will get catfished. I always ask for that unfiltered selfie. I don’t always get it actually unfiltered. I have been catfished like crazy. It’s actually amazing how good some of these girls are at filters and camera angles. If all their photos are filtered and the selfies they send are filtered then more than likely that 8 you think you are talking to is at best a 6.5. Sometimes even a 4 or less. I have had this happen and it’s super awkward on the date then.
8) Don’t give money before the date: Some of these girls are in fact the actual girl in the photo but they will try to scam you. They will send the selfie and all but then begin to ask for money before you even met. They will try to pass it off like a way for you to prove to them you are serious or something. They will ask for gas money, food money, whatever you can think of before they even meet you. Worse yet the day of the meet they will come up with some bullshit story about need money for gas or something. Don’t pay it. It’s a scam. You will be pissed you invested time and effort into planning but trust me bro, you won’t ever see her. She is working you for $50.
When setting up a date I am cool with doing dinner and getting freaky at a hotel or my/their place later. If we agree on a $400 price per meet I explain I will provide them $100 for dinner and the rest will come once we get to the location should we decide to get intimate.
9) If you find a gem this is an awesome experience: So this last part is some inspiration and maybe just the dumbest fuckin luck I ever had. So when I was still within the first few months of sugaring I found the profile of a beautiful Puerto Rician girl. I could best describe her as a young Rosario Dawson but imo even hotter. She claimed to be a sorority girl at the nearby Big 10 college. Her picture looked like Instagram model pictures. I asked for the verification pictures thinking to myself “no way is this chick for real”. To my surprise I got the verification picture. To include some topless pictures with her face. She was cool with $500 for an overnight and I had to met her at her apartment 25 minutes from my house. The apartments she told me about I knew to be nice student apartments in a very nice area. So nothing sketchy there. She wanted to meet late at night after her roommates went to bed. The whole time I was thinking to myself there HAS to be a catch.
I agreed but kept wondering what the deal was. This chick was waaay too hot and was very agreeable to what I feel was not a whole lot of money compared to escorts of the same caliber looks wise. She easily could command $1000 an hour as an escort and I'm sure dudes would pay it. We agree to a time and I drove there just after midnight. I get there and standing in the doorway just off the front porch was in fact the girl I had been talking to and she was dressed in the cheerleader outfit I discussed with her. I couldn’t believe it. She looked exactly like the girl in the photos. We rush to her room and from there it was some of the most intense and amazing sex I ever had. We have seen each other multiple times since and I still can’t believe a girl like her bothers with a guy like me. She was never interested in meals, gifts, or going out. Every time we hang out it’s all about sex. I don’t fuck her, she fucks me and I’m just hanging on for dear life. I have concluded that she has to be an actual nympho with a fetish for this sort of thing that just so happens to be model hot.
I would say this is the exception and certainly not the rule. I have seen other girls on the site and most are solid 7s and 8s. But they all add a little more of a personal touch than escorts. They hang out longer and there is no pressure of a clock. I probably enjoy this part the most. So if you are willing to sift through the bullshit and play a little bit of a game it can be fun and rewarding. It's still less frustrating and much less game compared to regular dating.
If you have experience in the sugar world please share you thoughts, experiences, and lessons learned as well!
I first started dabbling in the SBs in 2020 right before COVID. Ironically after meeting an escort who told me, she used to do the SB thing and all about seeking.com . Here are my tips and lessons from this experience.
1) It’s all about location: I live in a small town near a major Big 10 college. The next closest city to me is about 2 hours drive away. This sucks for escorts as they are all at least a 2 hrs drive from me but for sugar dating this is a benefit. I am not super wealthy but do well for the area, I live in. The cost of living is generally low where I live. I am not competing with super rich dudes that one would find in NYC or DC. Because of that a lot of the girls don’t have the expectation of finding a multi-millionaire. The other benefit of the college is there is a constant rotation of new girls that come and go.
I can’t speak for what the experience is like if you live in a major city or middle of nowhere Texas. But for me I have had generally good luck finding girls that one would rate 6.5 to even a 10.
2) Know what you want and set expectations: Sugar dating is like a weird mix of seeing an escort and regular dating. I got into Sugar dating because I was curious of finding a girl that was more so out of my league, but I could spend time with doing things like dinner or Netflix and Chill. That shit is costly with an escort. I have found a SB to be more cost efficient. I can pay $500 to these girls and they will do an overnight and fuck you plenty. You can't get that through an escort.
But I have learned you have to manage expectations. Upon initial contact with these girls I explain I am looking for a mutually beneficial relationship and what I am willing to pay per meet. I then asked if they are comfortable with physical intimacy and/or what they like in the bedroom. If they seem awkward, hesitant, or say they don’t put out right away and want to go out on dates first I bail right there. Frankly if they come off as anything BUT DTF then I will not wast my time. Some of these girls are either time wasters or simply on seeking but still have no clue. I have wasted money before on a girl that was very nice but I simply think she was in over her head and never comfortable with the idea of fucking for money.
Also set the expectation that they will only get allowance for a meet and nothing else. Don't do gifts or book money or groceries. They will shit you up all the time. Set the expectation that shit won't happen. Even if they are fucking you.
3) Read their bios: This is an easy one and can give you some insight into what the girl is looking for. If they mention they are seeking something No Strings Attached and/or mutually beneficial then that is a good thing. If they say something like “if you just want sex I’m not your girl” or “I am not a prostitute” then I wouldn’t waste my time.
4) Have a message template: You're fishing and this is a numbers game. I don't have time to craft a nice special message for each girl I find on there. I have a basic template that I use for most girls. It generally says “Hey xxxxxx, love your pictures! You look absolutely stunning. [insert a short 1 or two sentences about something you like or notice from a picture or something in their bio]. My name is xxxxx and I am from the xxx area. I am looking for a no strings attached and beneficial relationship built on trust and intimacy. Would like to meet a couple times a month at $400 allowance each time we get together. If you’re interested feel free to text me at ###-###-####.”
You can also simply ask for their SnapChat and strike up the convo there. I would avoid being too direct on seeking's messaging platform as they are known to sometimes those kinds of messages. Basically take the conversation off seeking as soon as you can and discuss the more intimate details on some other platform.
5) Beware robots and scams: Just like any dating site there are scammers and bots. Things I generally look for when bothering to talk to a girl is how old is the account. Older accounts are more credible. Bots and scammers generally get reported and removed within a few weeks. So accounts older than a few weeks or months are likely more legit. If the person ask you to contact them on a WhatsApp number it’s 100% a scammer from overseas. Don’t bother.
6) ALWAYS ask for a verification photo: Within the first few exchanges of conversation I always ask for an UNFILTERED selfie of the individual holding up 3 fingers. Reason I ask for 3 fingers is because it’s not a common photo to have. A scammer can easily find a picture of a similar looking girl holding up 2 fingers as this is a common gesture in selfies. 3 fingers or a specific object are not something one can easily duplicate. I have never had anyone who is legit have a problem with this. If they refuse or stall then they are a scammer. I have had real girls send the 3 finger selfie…however they don’t always do the UNFILTERED part. Which leads too….
7) You will get catfished: Just like with regular dating, you will get catfished. I always ask for that unfiltered selfie. I don’t always get it actually unfiltered. I have been catfished like crazy. It’s actually amazing how good some of these girls are at filters and camera angles. If all their photos are filtered and the selfies they send are filtered then more than likely that 8 you think you are talking to is at best a 6.5. Sometimes even a 4 or less. I have had this happen and it’s super awkward on the date then.
8) Don’t give money before the date: Some of these girls are in fact the actual girl in the photo but they will try to scam you. They will send the selfie and all but then begin to ask for money before you even met. They will try to pass it off like a way for you to prove to them you are serious or something. They will ask for gas money, food money, whatever you can think of before they even meet you. Worse yet the day of the meet they will come up with some bullshit story about need money for gas or something. Don’t pay it. It’s a scam. You will be pissed you invested time and effort into planning but trust me bro, you won’t ever see her. She is working you for $50.
When setting up a date I am cool with doing dinner and getting freaky at a hotel or my/their place later. If we agree on a $400 price per meet I explain I will provide them $100 for dinner and the rest will come once we get to the location should we decide to get intimate.
9) If you find a gem this is an awesome experience: So this last part is some inspiration and maybe just the dumbest fuckin luck I ever had. So when I was still within the first few months of sugaring I found the profile of a beautiful Puerto Rician girl. I could best describe her as a young Rosario Dawson but imo even hotter. She claimed to be a sorority girl at the nearby Big 10 college. Her picture looked like Instagram model pictures. I asked for the verification pictures thinking to myself “no way is this chick for real”. To my surprise I got the verification picture. To include some topless pictures with her face. She was cool with $500 for an overnight and I had to met her at her apartment 25 minutes from my house. The apartments she told me about I knew to be nice student apartments in a very nice area. So nothing sketchy there. She wanted to meet late at night after her roommates went to bed. The whole time I was thinking to myself there HAS to be a catch.
I agreed but kept wondering what the deal was. This chick was waaay too hot and was very agreeable to what I feel was not a whole lot of money compared to escorts of the same caliber looks wise. She easily could command $1000 an hour as an escort and I'm sure dudes would pay it. We agree to a time and I drove there just after midnight. I get there and standing in the doorway just off the front porch was in fact the girl I had been talking to and she was dressed in the cheerleader outfit I discussed with her. I couldn’t believe it. She looked exactly like the girl in the photos. We rush to her room and from there it was some of the most intense and amazing sex I ever had. We have seen each other multiple times since and I still can’t believe a girl like her bothers with a guy like me. She was never interested in meals, gifts, or going out. Every time we hang out it’s all about sex. I don’t fuck her, she fucks me and I’m just hanging on for dear life. I have concluded that she has to be an actual nympho with a fetish for this sort of thing that just so happens to be model hot.
I would say this is the exception and certainly not the rule. I have seen other girls on the site and most are solid 7s and 8s. But they all add a little more of a personal touch than escorts. They hang out longer and there is no pressure of a clock. I probably enjoy this part the most. So if you are willing to sift through the bullshit and play a little bit of a game it can be fun and rewarding. It's still less frustrating and much less game compared to regular dating.
If you have experience in the sugar world please share you thoughts, experiences, and lessons learned as well!
